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Being Fully Present with others

We all desire to be ourselves and be with other people. Sometimes that is a challenge and difficult. If you would like to know a bit more on being fully present with others, then this can help you begin the journey towards "present with"

“The ability to be present in the moment is a major component of mental wellness” - Abraham Maslow

Fully Present Observed

I observed a couple the other day in a place I was having lunch who really caught my attention. It wasn’t because of what I was hearing within their conversation so much, but just how they acted with each other. This couple was clearly at a deeper level of their relationship (although they were quite young) than most people I observe. What struck me as valuable, amazing, and different than most couples I meet and have coached, is that they displayed some of the following characteristics with each other:

· For the most part they looked at each other when talking or listening

· They had moments of conversation, reflection, open time - when they looked

around, and other aspects of relational engagement together

· Their non-verbal postures spoke as openly and distinctively as their verbal


· Finally, for lack of proper description, there was a deeper weight and value in how

they treated each other.

At first, I thought this was some kind of staging, like that of a drama scene being acted out. But the longer I observed this couple, the more genuine and authentic they showed themselves. I am by no means portraying them as a “perfect” couple, I did see a few moments of human inconsistency. But overall, I was drawn in to they unscrambled and well blended interactions of these two people.

This couple, who did text once and a while, were distinctively present in the moment with each other. They conveyed that they were aware of themselves as differentiated people. Still, they would set aside their individuality with little effort, it seemed, when the other engaged with the person. This got me asking a few key questions for all of us:

What does it mean to be fully present with someone?

What can you do to increase being more present with a person rather than fading relationally in and out?

How can you prepare for your time with someone (even if you have only a few seconds) to be self-aware without being self-absorbed to be openly present together?

Here are a few good websites that can begin to assist you in answering these questions:

First Things First:

Louise Altman International Communication Consultants:

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